She was sitting on the bed.
Holding her heavy head.
Deep thoughts were piercing her mind.
Looking around for some hope to find.

The night was cold, the moon was bright.
Her fire was nowhere in sight.
Her fingers were shaking and blue,
but her eyes were still searching for a clue.

That person, her heart was after,
he was away, and with that, her laughter.
She was alone and broken in pieces.
She just had the memories of the kisses.

The night was quiet and so lonely
She wanted just one look.. one look only.
To feel happy and a whole person again.
She wanted to see her man…

Sitting on the edge.
Wondering about the life I had.
Questioning everything,
that I ever did.
Why everything has to be so complicated?
Why people change?
Why?
Thinking about the past.
Of all the people that I knew.
Of all the loves that I lost.
Of all the hope that I once had.
Sitting on the edge.
The ground looks so peaceful.
The ground keeps me steady.
Just like some people in my life.
That I once had.
But some of them are gone now.
Building better future without me.
Makes me sad.
Thinking about the present.
Some people are still here.
With me, for better or for worse.
Somehow, that is not enough.
Somehow, I am chasing those people away.
Maybe I find comfort in misery.
Maybe I just need to be alone.
To be happy…
Maybe, I am missing one person in my life
To complete the emptiness in my soul.
Maybe I just need to pray.
Silently, to ask for guidance.
For a helping hand.
To guide me into the right direction.
Maybe all I need is time.
To figure out my own story.
For now, my story is a sad one.
Tears falling on my cheeks.
Maybe I just need…
Friends.
Just friends.
To be happy.
Love will come after.

The pages of this book keep on turning.
Her hands are cold, but her heart is burning.
She can hear a laughter somewhere far away.
She wanted him gone… he wanted to stay.

Days are passing like leaves on the tree
She feels trapped, even though she is free.
She can hear a cry, somewhere in the night.
She wanted to see… but there is no one in sight.

The air is cold and the wind is so scary.
Her hands are empty, with nothing to carry.
The sound is taking her to a deep sleep.
She wanted to smile… but she can only weep.

The present seems empty like a black hole.
She tried to stand but she can only fall.
Remembering the time of a memorable kiss.
She wanted to live… but she can only miss.

You and I were never real
You and I were only a dream
A dream imagined
Created on a cloud
Written by an angel
Never sealed
Never forgotten
Never undiscovered
Never told.
Dream always in my mind
It doesn’t even matter if it is day or night
It doesn’t even matter if I am awake or asleep
My dream is always there
To break my heart
To break my body and soul.
The only proof are the tears on my face
Drying on their own
To wash the make up from my face.
The only sane solution is to share my dream so we can dream together
But the fear is great…
The fear is crippling
The fear that my dream is only mine.
But there is no sanity left
So the dream will be quiet in public
But very loud in my head.

There are so many things left unsaid
So many feelings undiscovered
So many butterflies in my stomach…
Why don’t I speak my mind?
Why don’t I say those words?
Why?…
I feel weak, if I show my love to you
And selfish, because I will not stay for long
My home awaits for me
But my soul will stay with you here
Wherever you go, my heart will follow
It will be selfish to tell you
And then just leave.
I just want you to follow me
Please follow me.
And never look back.

I am smiling…
Yes, people can see me smiling during the day, like an innocent child playing in a field.
I am smiling and living the life while the sun is shining…
I am smiling..

And no one can see the sadness behind my eyes.
No one can see that my heart is breaking every second in tiny little pieces.
No one can see that my laughter is just covering the pain in my chest.
No one can see the tears in my eyes when I am trying to fall asleep.
No one can see the love that is crushing my soul.

I am going away forever.
My love will stay here, without ever knowing that my feelings are deep and true.
It is difficult to hide the pain when every time I see his face, my head spins in all directions.
When I see his smile, I am drowning in my own sorrow.
My love will stay here and I am going away, without ever telling him that he is the reason of my daydreams.
I need to tell him.
But it is selfish to share something so big and then just simply leave…
Is it?
I know it is.
Even though he might not feel the same way.
It is selfish.
I need to hurt alone.

What did you do to me, I can’t think clearly this week,
you make me nervous, I feel the butterflies, I feel weak.
You don’t know, but you captured me from the first time I saw your face,
it was just a moment, but a moment filled with grace.

Your name was carved in my heart with the sharpest knife,
I saw you and I knew, you will be the love of my life.
The sun is gone and the rain is pouring all day long,
I sit in my room writing something for you, a romantic song.

Why is it so hard to tell someone the feelings inside?
Why is it the best way, to try and hide…
Nothing really matters anymore, I just sit and wait
the time passes by and it’s starting to be so late.

Do you really know what you did, you criminal?
From a girl that was happy, you turned me into a shadow.
Why, are you happy now because of that notion?
Do you feel better, do you feel a slight satisfaction?

Nothing really is left unsaid, I just fade away
(even though I hate that) I love you,
what more can I say….