Covered smile

I am smiling…
Yes, people can see me smiling during the day, like an innocent child playing in a field.
I am smiling and living the life while the sun is shining…
I am smiling..

And no one can see the sadness behind my eyes.
No one can see that my heart is breaking every second in tiny little pieces.
No one can see that my laughter is just covering the pain in my chest.
No one can see the tears in my eyes when I am trying to fall asleep.
No one can see the love that is crushing my soul.

I am going away forever.
My love will stay here, without ever knowing that my feelings are deep and true.
It is difficult to hide the pain when every time I see his face, my head spins in all directions.
When I see his smile, I am drowning in my own sorrow.
My love will stay here and I am going away, without ever telling him that he is the reason of my daydreams.
I need to tell him.
But it is selfish to share something so big and then just simply leave…
Is it?
I know it is.
Even though he might not feel the same way.
It is selfish.
I need to hurt alone.